the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
