i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
well you can't waste a boner
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
