She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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