I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
