How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
