is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize