dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
She even gives head with a lisp.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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