he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
