I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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