we have pet lesbian snakes
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
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