is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
