So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
