In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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