we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
