But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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