Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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