I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
