how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
