oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize
