Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
