You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
