obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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