I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
