we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
