I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
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