How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
nutella sex= disaster
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Randomize
