oh god the rape fog is back!
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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