1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
