I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
