At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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