More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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