I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
