we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
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