Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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