So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
