Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
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