i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
