I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
