Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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