I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
