Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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