y did u give ur computer a hand job?
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize