Having a random hookup so left but love u
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
