I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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