As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
