Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Randomize
