Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
