So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
