I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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