are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
