she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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