Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
