The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
