oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
