16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
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