She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
