So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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