I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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