they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize