im gay
i know
yea but for you.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
